People go by while I drink my Caramel Macchiato and try to wake up with a cigarette. People in a hurry, sleepy, singing, worried, tired, bored, happy, needy, laughing or crying. People, each carrying their own pack of wishes for the day. And as I watched them go by I kept thinking: “Is that a happy face there?” So a few minutes go by and then a few hours with meetings, code, words, smiles, venting or just keeping silent.
And then it hit me. Emptiness. I felt it so deep inside that it was almost impossible to bear. The kind of emptiness that hurts. Not missing, not needing, not longing for anything at all. Just lacking. The kind of emptiness that a pair of Calvin Klein (shoes, duh!) can’t possibly wash away. The kind that a good cup of coffee can’t scare. One of those moments when you wish you had somebody’s shoulder to hang on to. And then you realize that there is nobody anymore. And you wish you were in a movie where the asphalt would crack right in front of you with melodramatic music in the background. Those are the scariest moments. The ones that could make you make the same mistakes again and again.
But then again, at the end of the day Sunnyside is always sunny…
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Tuesday, July 24th, 2007 at
11:12 pm filed under
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